RECONNECTING WITH YOUR PASSION

It will come as no surprise to those that know me well, that I wanted to be an actress or singer or both during my late teens and early 20s. I studied for years at the Sydney Actors Studio, the City Lit in London and the Victorian College of the Arts in Melbourne. My heart ached at the idea of not being able to pursue this passion. It was who I was! Then slowly over time somehow something so important and such a vital part of who I was, seemed to slip away. The idea of pursing a “proper” job became more attractive as it meant that I could pay my bills on time and buy nice things. I was never quite willing to suffer for my craft I don’t think. I was probably too materialistic for that. In my late 20s, I got married and had responsibilities, apart from singing in the shower, my dreams of being on the stage seemed all but a distant memory. Then in my early 30s my marriage ended, and I found myself for the first time living alone. I had a fantastic loft apartment that I loved. It became my sanctuary and the only place I truly felt safe during this difficult time. It provided me with the space that I needed to reconnect with myself as an individual and focus on what was paramount in my life.

During that time, I got in the habit of stopping off and buying a bottle of wine and some Thai food on the way home, I would then put on my favourite pyjamas and dance and sing in my living room. Unfortunately, dance was not a gift bestowed upon me, so I can only describe my routines as a mix between flash dance (complete with high-leg kicks) and my own version of interpretive dance. I know it’s a little bit of a risk to divulge this personal information, and it may sound silly, but it helped me reconnect with who I was, to the deepest part of myself. For the briefest of moments, I allowed myself to play! I was uninhibited and alive. I was that young 20 something that lived and breathed singing and acting.

I realise now that this passion was probably not who I was, but what I wanted to do (always) and as a mum with responsibilities and a mortgage, it may not be realistic to run away with the circus or become the next Dame Judi Dench, but I can still do what it is that I am passionate about. I can take a acting class, start singing again or just turn up the radio and sing at the top of my lungs as if nobody is watching. I invite you to do this over the next couple of days, play some air guitar, dance in your living room or put on your running shoes and feel the wind against your face. Do what it is that connects you to the deepest part of yourself.