UNDERSTANDING DEPRESSION
Here is my very basic explanation (and non medical). Neurotransmitters in your brain are not functioning on all cylinders. This means the chemicals in your brain that trigger all things pleasurable, fun and happy are impaired. This results in a loss of pleasure in all things ordinarily fun and nice. The sufferer is left with feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and sometimes self loathing. A vicious cycle begins which renders the person suffering from Depression impaired in some or all areas of their life. Daily tasks, which are normally automatic can become impossible. Unfortunately, no amount of positive thinking or well intentioned advice will make those neurotransmitters function more efficiently. Sufferers can not will their brain chemistry to change.
Common statements made to sufferers of depression:
- You have to stop doing this to yourself or why are you doing this to yourself
- You need to snap out of this
- I just can’t deal with this anymore.
- If you just did XY or Z you would feel so much better
- You need to get over this
- Toughen up and pull it together
- You have to get on with life
- I get down too sometimes, but I manage to get on with it
- You have no idea how hard this is for me.
- I don’t understand - I can’t imagine feeling the way you do.
Imagine replacing the illness Depression with Epilepsy or Diabetes - and imagine the sufferer hearing the same statements. Depression is an illness that is not controlled by the sufferer.
There are several treatments for Depression - these are the most common.
- Therapy
- Therapy & Medication
- Therapy & Medication & Hospitalization
There are a million different medications and another million medication combinations - not to mention natural and lifestyle related changes that aid in recovery. Some sufferers respond well to medication, others do not. Finding the right medication is often the most challenging aspect of treating depression. Studies have shown that some people benefit from a change in diet, increased exercise or light therapy. Each person is different and will find benefit from different solutions.
MY STORY
95% of people who know me won’t know that I have struggled with Depression most of my life. People would describe me as happy, outgoing, bubbly and positive. Like many people suffering with Depression, I have an amazing ability to put on a “happy mask “ and present myself to the world, all the while I am crumbling inside. I suffer from a Recurrent Major Depressive Illness. I have suffered from severe depression since I was 11 years old. I have had an episode of depression every three years since. Each episode lasting approximately 9 months. Fortunately I am currently experiencing the longest depression free period in my life. I have not had an episode of depression in 7 years (miraculously). 7 years ago I was part of a research study through the Jewish General Hospital in Montreal where I received 18 months of weekly dynamic therapy and this has had a significant impact on my life. I also continue to take a low dose of anti-depressants in order to prevent another episode.
LIVING WITH DEPRESSION
Depression follows a very predictable path for me. It will start (unprompted) with insomnia, feeling low and very down on myself, this increases over a two or three week period - then BAM! I am suffering from full-blown depression! I go from holding a responsible job, enjoying my social life, friends and family to wanting to end my life in a matter of weeks. It literally feels as if I have been hit by a freight train. I am rendered helpless and basic daily functioning becomes almost impossible. Unfortunately, I am not someone that tolerates medication well. Having tried most modern medications available to treat Depression, there is only one or two that have successfully treated my symptoms. The symptoms usually last for 9 months. I suddenly start to feel lighter, start seeing more clearly and literally my dulled sense of smell returns to normal and I slowly piece my life back together, the depression is over. I would not wish Depression on anyone. It has caused major upheaval in my life. It has had an effect on my ability to study, my career path and has had an impact on almost every relationship in my life.
WHY ME?
This is a question I have asked myself a million times. The answer for me is fairly simple. I have a genetic pre-disposition for Depression, just enough trauma in my childhood, combined with a sensitive personality type....et voila.
WHY TALK ABOUT DEPRESSION
I usually don’t share this information with people for fear of being judged. I am aware that there is a stigma attached to mental illness. I question if I will be misunderstood, and perhaps my fear will be realized, and people will assume that I’m crazy.
I would like to let others know that they are not crazy or alone and that there is no shame in suffering from Depression. Asking for help is something you MUST DO -not should do. You do not need to suffer alone. I would like to help people understand that it effects people from every walk of life and that taking medication doesn’t mean that you are crazy or that something is wrong with you.
The most common thing I hear from non-sufferers is “I just don’t understand it”. I want people to know that this is not a choice or something that a sufferer has control over. Non-sufferers sometimes find it difficult to accept that you don’t need to understand it in order to support someone suffering from it. I don’t need to understand the intricacies of Diabetes (or what it might feel like to have it) to understand that someone has it, and they need treatment. Talking about Depression demystifies it. Removing the shame associated with Depression will encourage sufferers to seek out the help they need and save lives!
WHAT NEXT?
I would be lying if I didn’t say that I don’t live in fear of this happening again. Behind every new door that opens in life, I often wonder if depression lurks behind it. I continue to take medication, learn new skills to deal with life’s ups and downs, taking care of my physical health and mind. I am on a continuous path of learning. I have learn’t that stress is something that I should manage carefully. I suspect that I will won’t be depression free forever, but I am more confident than ever that I am able to recognize it and treat it quickly.
IF YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION
- Seek help - talk with your family doctor
- Tell friends or family - don’t suffer alone
- If you are suicidal - tell someone - go straight to your nearest Emergency Room - there will be someone there that will help you - and they WILL take you seriously.
- Reach out via a telephone helpline. You are not alone.
IF YOU ARE SUPPORTING SOMEONE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION
- You may need to talk to someone too- this illness sometimes becomes a family secret that you are not permitted to share - find a professional confidant if necessary to get some help.
- You are also not alone, there is often support groups available where you might find people to share with.
- It is not your job to fix your loved-one
- By assisting the sufferer in finding help - this will assist you in realizing that it is not your responsibility to make this person well.
- If someone you love is getting help and you are concerned by there behavior - contact a professional
- You should never let yourself be the subject of abuse under any circumstances (depression is not an excuse to treat someone you love badly)
- If the person you love refuses help, don’t let this be a barrier to finding help for yourself.
- You will never love someone out of depression - no matter how much you want to
- Your love, support and patience is invaluable - even if nobody reminds you of this.
- Depression is almost always temporary - this too shall pass
I truly hope that I have done this subject justice as I realized that it is sometimes a matter of life or death. I can’t stress enough how important it is to reach out (when you least feel like it). If you love someone with depression or suffer from it yourself- please share this blog post. Help expose the truth about mental illness and help save lives!
