FINDING HAPPINESS IN 2015

Finding what makes you happy is not one or two decisions, followed by several actions, it is a million actions, which are punctuated by decisions.  Who we are is a manifestation of all our actions.  If our actions are not authentic and aligned with our true desires and purpose then our life becomes less meaningful.

Getting up in the morning, personal hygiene, breakfast or no breakfast, what we are going to wear today, etc.  When our actions derive from self-belief, love or sense of higher purpose, then we are edging closer to our true meaning.  When actions are driven by fear; the desire to please others or avoid displeasing others, then each action drives us further from our true purpose and happiness.

We intrinsically know who we are, however, this can become clouded if we choose to ignore our inner compass and please others or seek external validation from others.  Our fear and insecurities drive behaviours and decision making that is not authentic, moving us away from the life we want.

Today I was looking at my year in review on Facebook, and I had a sudden epiphany.  On paper (on Facebook at least) my life seems amazing.  I had travelled all over the world in the last 12 months, Czech Republic, Malaysia, Canada, Cyprus and I had some beautiful photos of me with friends and family.  It was a great year, but I could have lived my life more authentically. I am typically consumed by trying to please others.  I was conditioned to do this as a child and despite my best efforts it tends to be my default position.  At times I take small steps towards my true calling, however, this usually derailed by my insecurities.

My mission for 2015 is to put one foot in front of another, mindfully and with an intention.  I choose to manifest a life that is meaningful and authentic.

“You were born with potential.  You were born with goodness and trust.  You were born with ideals and dreams.  You were born with greatness.  You were born with wings.  You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.  You have wings.  Learn to use the and fly.”  - Rumi

IN MEMORY OF MY MUM - RAISING FUNDS FOR CHOLANGIOCARCINOMA FOUNDATION

In honour of my mother

 

I am running the

Dubai Women’s 10K Run 

on 7th November, 2014 

Raising funds for the Cholangiocarinoma Foundation  

 

10 years ago tomorrow I lost my mother.  She was a vibrant woman in her 60s planning her next overseas adventure and thinking about retirement. She then had to go into hospital to have her gallbladder removed. This was such a standard procedure that she hadn't bothered to tell us that she was having the surgery.  Sadly my mother never left hospital.  

Eight weeks after having her gallbladder removed she died of a Cholangiocarcimoa, better known as Bile Duct Cancer.  It is one of the rarest and most aggressive forms of cancer.  It can strike anyone at any age and has an extremely low survival rate beyond one year.  By the time most people with this disease start to experience symptoms it is usually in it’s advanced stages.  Given its location within the body, bile duct cancers are often inoperable and conventional treatments such as radiation and chemotherapy are ineffective.  Whilst this cancer is rare it’s prevalence is increasing.  

 

The Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation is a not for profit organisation that supports suffers and research efforts.  They have made a wonderful contribution to research  and awareness into this form of Cancer, however require support to continue to find a cure.

 

If you would like to make a donation to this worthy cause, please click this link http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/nataliewickenden/dubaiholdingswomensrun

I'M BORED - WHY THIS IS A GOOD THING

It’s school holiday time, and my five-year old son has just become acquainted with the concept of boredom.  I hear on a daily basis “I’M BORED."  I remember as a child feeling the same way, especially during long holidays when my friends were already away.  In fact, I think I was often bored as a child.  My mother's response was always the same and always unsatisfactory…”Read a book.”. 

I started thinking about the last time I truly felt bored.  I cannot remember the last time I was bored, probably because I have many mindless pursuits that ensure my mind is constantly distracted from the idea of being bored.  Being bored requires being still for a moment, to be present and to acknowledge that we are not being stimulated.  

Am I the only person that has become addicted to actives that serve the sole purpose of distracting us from this uncomfortable feeling? I find myself mindlessly watching quality TV like “Forensic Investigation” or “Ice Road Truckers” or surfing the net for hours.  Am I bored? most likely!  Do I take the time to acknowledge my boredom, NO!  I convince myself that my internet research of “reality stars…where are they now” is not only necessary but important.  As an adult, I think we sometimes believe that being bored equates to being unproductive.  You may be reading this post and thinking, “I wish I had time to be bored."  This probably supports the idea that we busy ourselves, to avoid our own company.  The moments of stillness that would have been a natural part of daily life only a few decades ago is eaten up by responding to emails, texting, updating social media and the like, not to mention trying to balance family and work.

So I question, is being bored as an adult healthy? should we allow ourselves to feel bored? 

As it turns out, chronic boredom can lead to psychological and health related issues, the occasional bout of boredom, however, motivates us to pursue new goals and encourages creative thinking.  So put down your iPhone or iPad and turnoff the TV and just sit for a while. Perhaps you will start to plan your next great endeavour or just become more connected with your creative side or maybe find yourself a little more connected with yourself and those around you.

2014 - GIVING MORE OF MYSELF TO OTHERS!

Today I received a call whilst at work from someone who travels the world talking to children about sharks and tries to promote shark conservation.  He has spoken with over 20,000 students internationally.  These are free presentations given to students in an attempt to educate kids about protecting sharks.  I spoke with this shark researcher for about 30 seconds before redirecting him to someone whom I thought might be able to help him.   I could not help but be surprised by the scale of his voluntary efforts.  It was impressive to hear someone so driven by his passion and so willing to dedicate his time to this cause.

It got me thinking about what is important to me. I feel passionate about many things.  I have always cared deeply about those less fortunate than me, and I have made some modest efforts in my life to help those people. I have always felt the urge to do more.  I went to the Millennium Summit in Montreal a few years ago and heard Mia Farrow speak of the atrocities in Darfur.  After visiting Sudan, Mia discussed how she felt a sense of responsibility to tell the world what was happening there.  It touched me as she was using her voice (and celebrity) to speak for those in horrific circumstances and urged the world to take action.  At the summit Desmond Tutu spoke about hope and how individuals  can make a difference in the lives of others.

It is easy to take a passive course of action when confronted by people that need help.  It is easy to reach into your wallet and donate $10.  It is not as easy to make a commitment that involves sacrificing your own time to help someone.   Allowing a cause to take up time and emotional space in your life is far more confronting that giving a credit card number to your favorite charity. 

I have witnessed extreme suffering and poverty in Indonesia & Southern Africa. These experiences left me with a deep desire to make a difference in the lives of others.  Slowly as I readjusted to my comfortable life in suburbia, those memories became less jarring and my desire to help change the world became a simmering thought in the back of my mind.

I have travelled to every continent in the world.  I believe that this opportunity also comes with the responsibility of not forgetting what you see. I have a personal responsibility to speak for those without a voice.  I feel compelled to  act and allow what I am passionate about to take up space in my life.  2014 will be the year of me giving more of myself to others….watch this space…..