WHEN IS SOMEONE TOO SENSITIVE?

Children have such easy access to their emotions. It is baffling to see them burst into tears at the drop of a hat or when a fit of rage is triggered by a seemingly small problem. We rarely admire or praise children for their honesty when it comes to their emotions. We usually have some advice that discourages them from sharing how they feel. Like “you will be fine” or “it’s not that bad” or “you shouldn’t be so sensitive” or “you need to learn to defend yourself”. It is natural not to want to see children get hurt, so we encourage them to be less vulnerable.

As someone who has always been sensitive and easily hurt, I’m not sure what the answer is. I do wish, however, that being sensitive wasn’t always deemed as a character flaw. I recently read an article about people who are HSP (highly sensitive people) and discovered that they are more physically sensitive.  Their senses, such as touch, smell and hearing are also more sensitive. Approximately 15 to 20% of the population are HSP. A HSP is more likely to enjoy small gatherings, than noisy and crowded parties. They are also more perceptive than most people and are more likely to be intellectually gifted. They usually have more of an appreciation for nature and the arts.

The key for me has been learning to embrace that side of myself. I no longer apologize for being moody or sensitive or emotional (what my mother referred to as my artistic temperament). I have come to accept that I experience my emotions more intensely than most people – When I’m happy, I’m very happy and when I’m sad, I’m very sad. This is sometimes a gift, and sometimes it feels like a curse. Life is a little more difficult when you are less emotionally resilient, but I also believe that it is more colorful and exciting.

Next time you tell someone they are too sensitive, ask yourself if you are also telling them that they are too intuitive, too perceptive, too empathetic or too happy. Unfortunately, when you encourage someone to be less sensitive we are also encouraging them to be less themselves.