FINDING THE COURAGE TO BE YOURSELF

I was going to write a generic blog today with a catchy title in order to increase readership. However after some reflection I realized that this is not why I began to blog in the first place. I wanted to speak my truth. I think as a life coach there is sometimes a temptation to appear as if you have it all figured out.  Well I don't and I want to share some of my misgivings and vulnerabilities in order to help others achieve some clarity around similar issues. Each time I blog it is therapeutic and terrifying at the same time. My efforts to be 100% authentic are sometimes threatened by my desire to please people. Most of the time I manage to resist the urge to please.

Why is it so difficult for us to be sincerely our self. It is difficult not relying on emotional or physical barriers, or use fashion, statement, or status pieces to send a message about who we are (or would like to be). Be strong enough to avoid the temptation of using humor or indifference as a defense. To just be! To be comfortable walking to the store without make-up, to be comfortable saying no if we feel overwhelmed, to be brave enough to accept rejection. Telling someone that we are not ok and that we need comforting and support. It seems so much easier (at least for me) to be stoic and somewhat aloof than be 100% myself. I would love to be able to walk down the road and subdue my negative self talk. Just long enough to realize that people don’t have a strong opinion about how my hair looks or care if my bag matches my outfit. 

Do these issues just plague women or do men sometimes feel the same vulnerabilities? I have noticed that I meet very few people who are truly themselves. It is extremely obvious when you meet these people because you immediately get the sense that you can see their soul. They exude innocence, vulnerability and come from a place of true curiosity. They have a magnetic like pull. You want to be around these people because you suddenly feel as if you also have permission to be yourself. 

I often feel trapped within myself. There is an opinionated, strong, affectionate, creative and sometimes needy person stuck inside that doesn’t get the opportunity to have her needs met, as most people don’t even know she exists. Sometimes disguising this part of myself becomes exhausting. I just want to breath, to truly exhale, although I usually resist the urge. I am concerned that my true self may slip out. 

I urge people reading this to be themselves or at the very least fight the good fight. You are not serving yourself or others by only sharing only part of yourself. Each time you are sincerely yourself, without fear of judgement or rejection, you give someone else permission to do the same.